Tim Tam Slam

A few years ago, my best friend, Jared, spent the summer in Australia. He saw kangaroos and monkeys, beautiful beaches and interesting people, but the thing he was most excited to tell me about when he returned was an activity from Down Under called a Tim Tam Slam. Tim Tams are cookies once found only in Australia, but now miraculously available all over the world. They’re just OK by themselves, but when you Slam them, you’re transported to childhood again. Well, recently Pepperidge Farms adopted Tim Tams into their line of treats. So, over the break, I taught my family how to Slam. Now, we will teach you, dear reader:

This is my dad holding a box of Tim Tams next to a picture of the Tim Tams themselves. They also now come in Caramel, which Slam quite nicely. Notice the chocolate coating. It is essential to a Slam.

Tim Tams can be found at Target and probably other places not available to Joplin shoppers. 

At the far right, my niece, Annie, demonstrates how to begin a Tim Tam Slam. First, you must select a corner of the cookie and bite it off. Be careful not to bite too much, but make sure to at least get into the cookie.

Next, my sister, Camille, bites the opposite corner from the cookie. This creates a straw effect.

Here, my niece, Madison, shows how to suck up coffee through the cookie straw. This is the main part of the Slam. One end of the cookie must be emerged into the liquid, while the other must be in your mouth. This creates a vacuum, although the liquid will not flow through the cookie as easily as it flows through a straw, so don’t give up if you feel like you’re sucking too hard. As soon as the coffee touches your lip – even a little bit – proceed to the next step.

[Editor's Note: Madison is pictured Slammin' with hot chocolate instead of coffee. This didn't work as well as coffee does, but it pretty much has the same effect. However, coffee is highly recommended.]

Now it’s time for the Slam, shown here by my mom, Theda, brother-in-law, Jay, dad, Larry, and niece, Chloe. As soon as the moisture touches your lips, throw your head back and slam the cookie in.

You’ve completed a Tim Tam Slam and joined countless Australians in a pastime unmatched the world ’round. Congratulations, and may many more Slams bless you in the future!

You should now be covered in a succulent mess, showed here by Jay and Chloe. Feel free to lick your lips, or do it again. Australia would be proud.